Push Through the “Not To”

Last week I was surprised and swooning when I got an email from my husband, saying that he took the liberty to write a guest post for the blog. He’s a fantastic writer! I hope you’ll be encouraged and inspired by what Chad has to share with you today. Enjoy! – Charlotte

Chad at Sunset Cliffs | May 2015

Push Through the “Not To”

Hey! Husband of the girl who continues to stay great here. As we’ve continued to share our news more and more over the past few weeks, reactions have been supportive, emotional, and interestingly enough, increasingly predictable. They tend to sound something like this:

“Wow, that’s great! I’ve always wanted to do that.”

“I’m so jealous, I hope I can move somewhere warm someday.”

My reply, quite often, has been simple, and nothing profound:

“Awesome. So what’s stopping you?”


At the risk of sounding naive, I understand that there are certain obstacles in life that are more difficult to get around than others. For us, these obstacles were mainly financial in nature. Selling the house, selling our cars, buying an SUV, finding a home, finding jobs, etc. With the obvious need to keep our plans private until they were official, what has seemed like an impromptu change to many has long been in the works. During the months and months we’ve spent dreaming up this plan, we’ve learned that there will always be a reason “not to” do whatever it is in life that you truly want to go after. But too often, we allow these reasons to appear unconquerable and insurmountable when in fact – they are never too big to actually stop us.

Reasons “not to” can often sound like this:

We can’t move to San Diego, because we’ve never been that far from home.

I can’t go to grad school, because I’m worried that I’m not smart enough to keep up with the work.

I can’t go to Uganda, because flights are expensive and I’d be way out of my comfort zone.

I can’t quit my job that I hate, because what if I’m never able to find something else?


Before we had met, we both had dreams that died as a result of letting our reasons “not to” hold us back. This time, holding each other accountable as a team, we were determined to not let that happen. We knew from the start that it was highly unlikely that everything would fall into place in perfect unison. We have answers to some questions, but there are still many, many unknowns. I won’t lie – sometimes, it can be really hard to take this leap and walk forward with such uncertainty of what the future in our new home holds for us. But, our goal has been to wholeheartedly trust God to lead us to where He wants us to go by walking through the doors that He has opened for us. All of those doors haven’t opened just yet, but some have, and we trust that eventually, everything will be clear and make sense.


Yesterday I had a conversation with a co-worker who was asking about our plan. I explained that while we’ve saved wisely and crossed out many items on our To-Do-Before-We-Move list, secure employment and income was still one big question mark. He commented “Yeah, but fear of the unknown is a pretty crappy reason not to go for it”, something that I could not agree with more. It’s easy to be comfortable, but far too often we allow comfort and security to guide our decisions.

Charlotte and I are not special people. We don’t deserve seeing our dreams coming to fruition any more than you do. The deciding factor for us was that we could not look back 30 years from now, living with the regret of not taking this leap. The weight of that regret simply outmatched the risk of failure.

And now, with moving day just one day away, we hope more than ever that our move might inspire just one person to take that leap of faith. Whether it’s a move like ours, a career change, or just tackling something outside your comfort zone, know that the biggest risk of all is falling victim to the “not to.” 


Stay great and stay classy, readers. – Chad


One thought on “Push Through the “Not To”

  1. This was an amazing read. You two are just such wonderful and special people. Thank you for this inspiring article as well as this phenomenal blog. I wish you two the very best!


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